It's Back and Badder than Ever

It's been over a year since I've updated this little ditty, and I'm sorry about that, but we'll try to do it more often (shoot outs at the bottom, see if you're listed).

I got back to school last week and started my final semester of undergrand work which is really scary. So let's have a little info about the semester:

Senior Design - It should be good; I really liked team STAR though now we're a 5 pronged handicapped start but it still should be good. I really like the people in it.
Space Propulsion - It shouldn't be too bad; though it's fun seeing how many different combos of black and green Dr. Micci can where; he got a new belt by the way, Melissa and I are trying to figure out if he got it for Christmas
Stat Orbit Analysis (500 Level) - I don't really know what to think of this yet; hopefully it won't be too bad though it's weird not having Melissa to sit by.
Structures Lab - This is going to be really annoying class and it could be worse than I've been thinking too. Evidentally the professor wants one of our group (which I like, well at least Tall Matt and Melissa) to move to a different section (friday @ 8 or friday until 5:30). Now I'm in the section I'm in so i could get done early and more imporatantly be with people I know i can work with; I can't do the 8 lab because quite frankly I don't want to work with anybody in that group It'd be all me. I like the people who got the late friday time; but it's late on friday, come on now. With my luck I'll be forced to move cause nothing ever goes my way.
EE 305 - Easy and boring; a waste of time
Acting - This actually scares me, mostly because of my shyness and other personal issues of mine.

In case you guys didn't know I've been really stressed and my body hasn't been taking it well. I've been having problems eating meals where I feel like I'm about to throw up in the middle of it (though I've been regaining my appetite of late). I haven't been sleeping well and my left eye twitches occasionally. Oh and my heart flutters a bit (like something solid is being pased through it sometimes). Here's what has been brothering me:

• I'm scared of graduating; I dont' like not knowing where I'll be or what I'll be doing or if I'll have any friends a year from now.
• I'm lonely, I want to find somebody to be with so badly. It's just so hard for me. It just feels like when it concerns love the deck is stacked against me. I honestly don't see what I have to offer or attract somebody to me.
• My shower situation sucks. It's been cold for the past week and now I have no water so I feel really dirty and smelly.
• And finally, There are some personal things I'm concerned about.

On to some happier thoughts. I went to the hockey game last night with Melissa and Matt which was really fun even though we lost big time. I want to thank them for getting me out of my room for at least one night (I've been really bored lately) and it really meant alot to me, so thanks guys.

I wanta close this out by giving shout outs to a few special people.

Melissa - Thank you. What can I say to you other than that? You put up with ALOT of crap from me and you're still my best friend. I know I need you more than anybody else in my life, and leaving you (potentially) after the semester scares me more than anything. Life just won't be as much fun without you in it.
Joe - It's good to have you back, I just hope we'll find time to see each other alittle more often than we did this week. You always tell it like it is to me and I appriciate it.
Melissa - Oh my, I don't think I could handle our classes without you beside me. Having you as a friend made everything so much more enjoyable. I want to thank you. You were my best friend last semester (which is actually kind of sad) and you always listen to me complain which has to be annoying, but I really appriciate it though I probably don't say it enough. You probably don't know how important a role you play in my life so thanks.

Other people who I love - Steph (you're a great friend), Matty (you're a good guy my man), Erin (you always listen, though it's kind of sad I hardly see you), and Zach (you're probably my best friend from home).

If you read all this Thank you, till next time - Johnny

Music playin' - Time by Pink Floyd (great song)